Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Quiet Waiter contest.

Above: the dumbwaiter shaft

The dumb waiter gets a bad rap!

Sure, all it has to do is go up and down all day - without speaking, greeting, ordering, ringing, cashing out or thanking a customer. But it's no easy job.

Up and down, up and down, up and down, etc. No tips, no "thank you"s, no "job well done"s, and no paycheck. It's paid for up front and property of the building forever. (Don't go there)

Sure, it will get fixed when it's broken. It will get all the power it needs to do it's job day in and day out. It will always have a long as it works for the house.

Let's be realistic though - it's a piece of equipment. Just like the grill, oven, water filter, or computer system. It may not be smarter than the one, but certainly not dumber than another.

So...the person who comes up with the best name for the hardest working food runner in our restaurant, currently know as the dumb waiter, will get an invite for 2 to the first night of soft openings!

Submit your suggestions in the comment section below. And cheers to the quietest waiter we will ever manage!


  1. "Mrs. London"


    The Psychedelic Furs

  2. Why don't you call it the GM, first one there, last one to leave, gets no
    Tips, no glory, no one cares about it until it screws up. Does all
    The heavy lifting. Front of the house hates it, back of the house hates
    It. The GM (dumb waiter) is a man on an island.

    Man if that doesn't win then this contest is rigged.

    Larkin wins

  3. "Lazy Susan" also has a bad rep, I always thought :)

    How about Epicurean Elevator?

  4. Dionysis (Greek) or Bacchus (Roman). Basically either give wine and fun imagery for which this dumb waiter will be uniquely responsible.

  5. I ran "dumb waiter" through an anagram generator, here's a few of my favorites
    wait dumber
    awe bum dirt
    ma but weird
    raw bum diet
    a bum drew it
    mad we rub it
    a dumb wire

  6. How about Bam Bam...the strongest of the Flinstones :)

  7. I've been racking my brain trying to think of a name suitable for our quiet partner in service - climbing to new heights hour after hour to bring time, place, and peoples together for a delectable experience.

    Today I had an epiphany:
    the chewchew train.